Most of us recognize Judaism as a foreign religion, and think of it as an exotic community that lives far away from our country. Despite the secular, multicultural nature of India, Hindu religion has the majority, and other minority communities like the Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists and Jain remain next in line, when it comes to thinking about the communities in India. But, it is a little known fact, that there does in fact, exist, a small Jewish community in India too. They may be less in number and lack general representation, but when talking about different wedding traditions, it would be interesting to know what Jewish Indian Weddings are like.
Before we go into the traditions amongst the Jewish Indians, let's first talk about the community itself.
India makes up a total of 7 Jewish groups which comprise the Cochin Jews, the Chennai Jews, the Nagercoil Jews, the Jews of Goa,the Baghdadi Jews,the Bene Israel Jews, the Bene Menashe Jews, and the Bene Ephram or the Telugu Jews.
Depending on the location these Jews have different traditions as per their location, which means that being a Jew in India is not a homogenous affair, but in fact we have the Jews which are Keralites, we have Jews who are Madrasi/ Tamilians, we have Mahrashtrian Jews, Goan Jews, Jews living in Gujarat and West Bengal, we have Jews residing in Mizoram and Manipur, Jews residing in Andhra Pradesh and we also have a small group of Jews residing in Delhi.
With so many varieties in the same religious community, as per their geography, it would be wrong to say that there is one typical Indian Jewish Wedding, where in fact there are so many variations, as having lived in India for so many years, will have exposed the Indian jews to their local traditions.
The Yiddhish term which means to “call up” is a tradition in which the Bride and Groom are called to the Torah for a blessing known as the aliyah. Following this the Rabbi offers a blessing called the misheberach, after which the guests throw candies at the bride and groom to give them wishes for a sweet life together.
This is the beginning of the Jewish wedding. During this the groom is supposed to stand on a table and declare his interpretation of the Torah in front of his friends and family. The attendees are supposed to heckle and interrupt the groom while he does so, while at the same time the bride is being entertained by her female friends in another room.
Referring to the period of separation before the wedding, it is believed that the groom and bride must remain separated for at least a week before the wedding. The bride and groom are supposed to spend time with their families and the feeling of missing one another due to the separation , is seen as a good omen.
During this ceremony the groom takes one look at the bride's face, and then covers it with a veil, implying that he is only interested in her inner beauty. This ceremony is based in a Biblical story, where Jacob was tricked into marrying to the wrong woman.
Chuppah refers to the canopy used in the wedding ceremony. Amongst the Jewish, generally, an outdoor wedding is preferred. The Chuppah is considered to be a private and sanctified place for the couple. After entering the canopy, the bride circles the groom seven times, where the number 7 is representative of the seven blessings of marriage and the 7 days of creation. This ceremony also signifies that now the groom is the centre of the bride’s world.
Under the Chuppah, the betrothal ceremony takes place, where the bride and the groom sip wine from the same cup. With the intention of proclaiming the bride in marriage, the groom puts a ring into her right index finger.
The groom presents a golden , non ornamented ring to the bride in the presence of at least two witnesses and the bride and groom are considered married, once the ring is given.
This is the reading of the marriage contract. The roles and duties of the couple together, are narrated from the contract, in original Aramic, which is then signed by two witnesses, after which the contract is handed over to the bride for safe keeping for life.
Referring to the seven blessings, the guests sing praises of the lord, pray and hope for the good life of the couple. The couple takes a second sip of wine from the cup and the seven blessings are then uttered by the couple.
The wedding ceremony concludes when the groom places the wine glass on the floor and smashes it with his feet. Everyone shouts Mazel Tov and moves towards the wedding reception, which unlike the Hindu weddings is on the same day as the wedding ceremonies. This ceremony symbolizes the pain caused by the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.
The couple is escorted to a private room, where they are left in isolation for a few minutes as a symbol of the new life that they will now start together. They are also given something to eat, to break their fast, that they have kept since the morning.a
This is the wedding reception joined in by all guests, where everyone celebrates the newly weds by singing, dancing and merry making.
Kerala witnessed its first Jewish wedding after a gap of 21 years in 2008. Since most of the Jews who live in India have either gone back to Israel or have died, the general Jewish population in Kerala is of people amongst the ages of 80. So this wedding after so many years became national news, due to its rarity.
Generally, a Jew wedding follows the rules of marriage dictated by the Talmud, which is the religious book of the Jews. But, as per local traditions, the customs of the native state are incorporated in the ceremony.
A Kerala Jew wedding is an amalgamation of Hindu, Christian and Jewish traditions, due to the local- cultural landscape of Kerala. Be it white or black Jews, the Cochini tradition dictates that they build a manara /aperion for the wedding at the groom’s house. The Bride takes a ritual bath, the bride receives a tali, which is the Kerala version of a mangalsutra. The tradition of giving a tali, is an imitation of the local Nayar tradition. The ceremony takes place in a synagogue. The groom enters the synagogue through a white carpet and sits near the podium till the bride arrives. But, unlike the regular Jews in the western tradition, where the Rabbi announces the commencement of the wedding, the Cochin Jewish groom announces the betrothal and marriage to the bride, himself.
In the Kerala Jewish wedding, the Bride wears a pudava , which is an ornate embroidered wrap skirt, paired with an embroidered white blouse. But keeping in mind the local traditions, a Keralite Jewish bride may also be seen in a traditional Kerala white saree. The groom may wear a white trouser with a knee length white shirt embroidered with Sattriyah, a vest with metal buttons or a kappa, which is a buttonless long coat and a skull cap, symbolic of the Jewish faith. The local custom of tying the tali is accompanied by the Jewish custom of the groom adorning the bride’s small finger with a ring made out of silver coins, that was gifted by the groom’s father.
Traditionally weddings among Kochi Jews lasted for 3 weeks during which the parents of the bride and groom hosts their relatives. The ceremonies took place both in the synagogue and at home and included prayers, women singing, banquets, processions, dancing and Indian music. There was also the tradition of playing various games to keep the bride and groom entertained. Lately the ceremonies have been limited to 1 week.
With the arrival of the Bene Israel Jews in Maharashtra, the Jewish weddings have taken a very Maharasthrian feel to their weddings. While decorating the ring finger of the couple with mehendi had a traditional Jewish way, many brides have now started decorating their hands and feet completely with mehendi like the Hindu and Muslim brides in India. Traditionally, the mehendi ceremony amongst the Jews took place in two locations simultaneously. During the process of application some of the groom's mehendi was taken and mixed in the bride’s henna paste. The Jewish Maharahtrian Brides even cover their faces with the sehra that is worn among the Hindu Maharashtrian brides. Their weddings have also adopted post wedding Maharashtrian games like the transferring of modaks from one plate to another by the bride and the groom. Another Indian tradition that is found amongst the Jews of Mumbai are the ways in which the Invocation of the Prophet Elijah is done, and in the way the Malidah (ceremonial food ) is distributed. These ceremonies are now said to be inspired by the Satyanarayan Puja and distribution of prasad, that is considered auspicious amongst Hindus. These Jews also celebrate the Haldi function. The Jews residing in Maharashtra have also incorporated the wearing of green bangles and sarees instead of gowns in their weddings.
Another wedding took place amongst the Delhi Jews after 50 years in 2012. The Rabbi of Delhi’s only synagogue Ezekiel Isaac Malekar shares that other Indian influences in Indian Jewish weddings are the haldi ceremony, the vidai ceremony , the tying and wearing of the mangalsutra and conducting the wedding under the canopy. While the traditional canopy is the Chuppah, it has been often replaced by the wedding mandap, under the influence of Hindu traditions, in regions with Hindu majority communities like Delhi.
Among the Baghdadi Jews mostly residing in Kolkata, the engagement takes place at the girl’s house. The master of the ceremony is Dakaka, a woman who plays tambourine and drums and balances a glass full of liquid and a tray of candies over her head. Both families contribute to the couple’s new home. The groom’s mother gives the bride an abundance of jewellery. The bride’s family supplies the jewellery, trousseau, furniture, gold embroidered house shoes, a tallit bag (a fringed garment, traditionally worn as a prayer shawl by religious Jews) and a kippah (skull cap) to the groom. The groom’s family pays for the mattress, gown, suit and the wedding expenses. A night or two before the wedding, a henna ceremony is organized, in which henna is applied on the tips of the bride’s fingers and the small finger of the groom. The bride changes gowns after the Henna ceremony as often as her trousseau would allow. The match among Baghdadi Jews is initiated by relatives , and rarely ever a marriage occurs for love. Then they follow all the typical wedding ceremonies of the traditional Jewish custom. This is followed by a wedding dinner, and on seven nights following it a large candle is lit, which is accompanied by singing and ululating (a common tradition among Bengalis).
Among the Bene Ephraim of Andhra Pradesh, preference is given to marriage amongst other Jews, but since the number of Jews are very few in India, the boys generally marry girls from Christian Madiga family, in and around the village.The girls convert to Judaism after marriage and strictly practice the Jewish traditions.
