The Baniya community is one of the largest communities in the Indian subcontinent. Traditionally known as the Vaishya Samaj, the Baniyas comprise a community of merchants. These consist of people who are bankers, moneylenders, traders, businessmen, shopkeepers and owners of commercial enterprises. The Baniyas are usually divided into various clans depending on their gotras such as Agarwal, Dasora, Dishawal, Kapol, Nagori, Vagada, Modh and Nagar. These clans are further divided into various sub groups and compose a large section of the Indian community. The Baniyas are famous for hosting lavish weddings, with extensive flow of cash owing to their traditional professions. While many Baniyas have now entered other fields of profession, grand Baniya weddings still continue to make for a large number in the wedding market. With wide variations depending on the state and linguistic community, the traditions and rituals amongst the Baniya community may co- exist. But, all in all there are certain wedding rituals that are common among the Vaishya Samaj, irrespective of their specific geographical location and linguistic community. Let’s take a look at the various pre -wedding, wedding and post wedding traditions of the Baniya Community.
The first step in the direction of finalizing a marriage is the process of match making. Traditionally, people of the Baniya community have tie ups amongst their clan members through the means of a local Vaishya Samaj. Vaishya Samajs are situated in every big and small city where people can find suitable matches for their children within the same community. Though traditionally people preferred to find matches within the same castes, the trends have changed and more people have started indulging in inter caste marriages. Nevertheless, no matter what the process, the match between a couple is first finalized either through a Bichaulan, or a pandit, or a matchmaker, or sometimes amongst the couples themselves. Once the right match is identified, the parents of the family initiate a process of horoscope/kundali matching, to ensure the compatibility of the couple, and in case of any issues, several remedies may be suggested by the Pandit to ensure a happy union for the couple. While the matchmaking is being done, the two families also have a discussion on the type of wedding that they wish to host and the amount of expenditure they wish to make in the wedding. Discussion on exchange of gifts is also done at this moment.
Once the matchmaking and horoscope matching is done, a small ceremony is conducted that solidifies the fixation of the marital match, which is known as Rishta Pakka Karna. In this ritual the family and few close relatives of the couple meet at a place. This may be in the house of either the bride or the groom, or it can also be in a temple, dharamshala or a small banquet hall. In this ritual both the families bring with them various gift items such as fruits, dry fruits, and Meva. The groom’s family gifts items of Suhaag, such as Mehendi, Kumkum, Bichiya and so on to the bride, while the bride’s family does a Tika ceremony and gifts a small amount of cash to the groom. During this ritual many families also go through the process of ring exchange to confirm that the match has been finalized.
After the match has been finalized a pandit is called upon, to fix a suitable and auspicious date for the wedding ceremony. As per the astrological readings of the Pandit, several auspicious dates are suggested by the Pandit to the families and as per the convenience of both the families the Shadi’s Muhrat is finalized.
This is a ritual that is done on both sides of the wedding party. In this ritual the maternal uncles of both the bride and groom are invited by the families respectively, to attend the wedding ceremony and come along bearing gifts for the ceremony. It is expected that the maternal uncle of both the bride and the groom will come along with fruits, dry fruits, cash, clothes and jewellery for the bride and groom before the wedding ceremony.
In this ritual, the male members of the bride’s family, such as her father, brothers, mama, chacha etc. go to the groom’s house bearing gifts for the groom. These include various products of the Groom’s Trousseau such as Suits/ Sherwanis/ Kurta Pajama, Shoe/ Juttis, Watches, Chains, Mehendi, Kumkum and also flowers, fruits and other forms of jewellery. In some cases where the rings are not exchanged at the time of the Rishta, the male members of the bride’s family give a ring as a token for finalizing the marriage, similar to the western tradition of engagement. The ring represents a commitment between the two parties regarding the upcoming marriage. During this ritual the bride’s family members invite the groom and his family to bring a Baraat to take their daughter away in marriage.
This ceremony is common in most Hindu traditions. The bride and the groom are both applied with an Ubtan of Haldi, which is meant to enhance the complexion and glow for the would-be couple. After this married women and men take turns to apply haldi on the body of the bride and groom at their respective homes, where a thick bundle of grass is dipped in several auspicious elements such a oil, haldi and curd and are touched at the forehead, shoulders, knees and feet of the bride and groom. After this the guests can take small amounts of haldi and smear it on the hands, face and feet of the bride and groom in their respective homes. Once the process of haldi is complete, it is considered inauspicious for the bride or the groom to step out of the house, and they continue to remain within the house, while others can do the errands for them.
In this ritual the bride and the groom, separately in their own houses, are seated in front of a small praying area created within the house. The pandit chants a few mantras, while asking the bride and the groom, each, to perform small tasks during the ritual. During the course of this puja seven married women tie several auspicious threads into 7 knots on the wrists of the bride and the groom, which is known as Kangana Bandhna, which they are supposed to wear until after the marriage ceremony is complete, and the bride reaches the groom’s house. After this the bride is made to wear green glass bangles, which she is supposed to adorn throughout her life, as a symbol of Suhag, though nowadays, women usually remove the bangles after the wedding rituals are over.
This ceremony also takes place in both families. The Gifts that were exchanged in the previous ceremonies lead to the delivery of Mehendi from the groom’s house to the bride’s house. This mehendi is mixed with more mehendi to create the paste of Henna that will be applied on the hands and feet of the bride. Usually women of the family, or professional mehndi artists create elaborate mehndi designs on the hands and feet of the bride. These designs may be composed of scenes of a wedding, depiction of Doli/ Baraat, name of the groom and other wedding related motifs.The women folk of the household and other female guests are also invited for mehendi application during this event. Simultaneously in the groom’s house the mehendi that was gifted to him on Lagan Sagai is used for applying small designs on the groom's palm as a symbol of Shagun. Here too the female members and guests are then welcomed to get a mehendi application in their hands.
Traditionally the ladies sangeet consisted of only the women folk of the household. An event that was separately celebrated at the houses of the bride and the groom has taken a more modern form, by having a common Sangeet night. Traditionally, during the ladies sangeet, the women of the household gathered and initiated sessions of group singing and dancing. The session usually began with a kirtan dedicated to the various gods and goddesses like Devi, Ganpati or Shiva. This was followed by singing of folk songs accompanied by Dholak, Chammach and Manjeera. While the bride’s family sang and danced to folk songs about the bride known as the Banni, the Groom’s family sang and danced to folk songs about the groom known as Banna. Traditionally the two events simultaneously took place in the bride and groom’s homes separately. Nowadays the bride and groom’s families come together to celebrate the sangeet night, where men are also allowed to participate, and the families usually perform well rehearsed choreographed dance numbers on the DJ.
On the morning of the wedding, or one night before the wedding, the maternal uncles of both the bride and groom, come bearing gifts to their respective houses. These gifts comprise clothes and jewellery for the bride/ groom, gifts for other close family members and some amount of cash, as a contribution from his side for organizing the wedding. The bride/groom are supposed to use the gifts brought by the maternal uncles on the day of their wedding.
On the evening of the wedding, the groom is supposed to climb on a female horse and ride it all the way upto the wedding venue. A time is fixed for the Ghudchadi by the pandit. Before the Ghudchadi a small Tika ceremony takes place at the home of the groom, where the groom sits in prayer with fellow male members of his family and the pandit chants some mantras for wishing an auspicious union for the upcoming nuptials. The groom is then made to wear the Sehra over his head and may also carry a sword around his waist. According to the time fixed by the pandit, the groom climbs on the female horse and mounts her to ride along with the Baraat. Thus, the groom on his Ghodi, along with the whole family in the Baraat, moves towards the wedding venue with full pomp and show. The Groom is accompanied by a small boy from the family on the Ghodi. In case a small boy is not available a young girl may also sit with the groom. The Baraat moves with the band playing in the background, carrying a big lighting setup. Traditionally this was a way of declaring that a wedding is about to take place. In the old times, the groom and bride usually belonged to nearby places, and the baraat would travel all the way to the wedding house on foot while dancing. Nowadays, the guests reach upto a certain point near the wedding venue by their own vehicles, and then start the wedding procession only a few kilometers away from the place of wedding.
Once the Baraat reaches the wedding venue, the Baraatees are welcomed by the Gharaatees. Usually during the welcome/ Swagat process, the Baratees are adorned with welcome garlands, sprinkled with perfumes or welcomed with a welcome drink or a small gift. Once the process of welcome is complete, the Baratees are taken for refreshment , after which the groom is seated on the main stage.
Soon the bride enters the wedding venue with her close friends or siblings and is escorted to the stage. Though traditionally this was a simple process while 3-4 close friends of the bride took her to the stage, nowadays, grand opening songs are played in the background. The bride may enter with a phoolon ki chaadar or an umbrella over her head. Once the bride climbs on the stage, the Jai Mala takes place. During this ritual the bride and groom exchange floral garlands to signify the initiation of their commitment to one another. This is followed by a shower of flower petals, manually by the guests or automatically by the use of technology.
After the Jaimala, the bride and groom are escorted to the wedding Mandap according to the auspicious time suggested by the pandit. The first ritual to take place after the Jaimala is the Kanyadaan. During this ritual the mother of the groom is absent from the Mandap. The father of the bride takes her right hand and places it on the right hand of the groom. The mother of the bride then pours sacred water on the palm of the father of the bride which eventually flows through the hands of the bride and the groom. During this process the Pandit recites mantras. In some cultures coconut/ betel leaf/ rice are also placed in the hand of the bride and water or milk is poured. This signifies that the father has handed over the responsibility of taking care of the bride in the hands of the groom. After this the sister of the groom ties the end of the bride’s dupatta to the groom’s stole/ dupatta.
The bride and groom, now tied together, have to take 7 circles around the holy fire, while the pandit chants mantras. At each circle/ Phera, the pundit explains one responsibility that henceforth the couple holds towards one another. After the pheras are complete, the groom applies sindoor in the middle parting of the bride’s hair. This is followed by tying the mangalsutra around the bride’s neck. These rituals indicate the completion of the matrimonial ceremony. The bride may also be adorned with a few pieces of jewellery by the groom’s family.
The last event on the night of the wedding ceremony is the Vidaai. This takes place some time before the sun rises. This auspicious time is usually called the taaron ki chaaon. At this time the bride bids goodbye to her family members, while the female members of the house sing songs of Vidaai and separation. Teary eyed, the bride throws a mix of plain rice and puffed rice behind her , above her head. This ceremony represents gratefulness on the part of the bride, who expresses her gratitude to her family, for bringing her up and feeding her well, suggesting that now she will be moving on to the next chapter of her life, with her husband and her new family.
Once the Vidaai is complete, the bride moves along with her newly wed husband to their new house. Here the groom’s mother welcome’s the bride with an Aarti ki Thali. After the welcome Aarti is done, a kalash full of grains such as wheat or rice is placed on the threshold of the house. The newly wed bride is supposed to push the Kalash inwards and scatter the grains into the house symbolizing that Goddess Lakshmi is entering the house, and she will bring prosperity and good luck into the family.After this she enters the house placing her right foot first into the house.
After the bride is welcomed into the house, the bride and groom are indulged in several games, to act like an ice breaker. One of the major games is the Kangana Utarna. The auspicious threads that were tied on the wrists of the bride and groom during Kangana Bandhna are now supposed to be opened by the couple for each other. The one who is able to open the knots the fastest, is considered to be the dominant partner in the couple. Similarly another game is played, in which the couple’s rings are dropped in a tray containing milk, and the two have to search the rings by dipping their hands in the tray, and whoever finds it first is considered to be the dominant partner.
After this, the whole household conducts a small prayer, remembering their Kul devtas and Kul devis and seeking their blessings for the new union. This is followed by the ritual of Muh Dikhai. Married women from around the neighbourhood and the close female family members are invited into the house. The bride sits with a big Ghoonghat over her head, while adorning a heavy saree and precious jewellery that she has brought from her house . The neighbourhood women, slightly pick up the Bride’s ghoonghat and see her face. In exchange for viewing the face, or Muh Dikhai, they shower her with gifts such as jewellery or cash. In this event again, folk singing and dancing takes place, where specially the new bride is encouraged to dance.
On the evening of the Muh Dikhai, the wedding reception takes place. This is a gathering for dinner organized by the groom’s family inviting their close relatives and friends , along with the bride’s family , to declare that the wedding has successfully taken place. The guests come bearing gifts, in order to welcome the new bride into the family. The gifts and cash presented to the bride and groom is considered as a form of blessing from the guests and relatives of the groom. With this ceremony, the whole process of a Baniya Wedding is considered to be complete.
